British Comedy: Up Pompeii

Years: 1969-1970
Broadcaster: BBC/ITV
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Talbot Rothwell, Sid Colin
Stars: Frankie Howerd, Elizabeth Larner
Episodes: 16
Episode Average: 8.250*

BEST EPISODES:
The Ides of March (1970), Love Potion (1970)

*including the pilot and specials

PILOT

(1969)

PILOT

UP POMPEII!

Originally broadcast: 1 September 1969
Written by: Talbot Rothwell

Lurcio struggles to deliver the prologue, Ludicrus Sextus suggests the price of freedom should be 500 drachma, and Captain Bilius' shipment of slave girls brings an opportunity to make money.

"No fool, that Plautus. He's quite a sage. He knows his onions."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SERIES ONE

(1970)
7 episodes
Series Score: 60
Episode Average: 8.57
Perfect 10's: 2

S1E1

VESTAL VIRGINS

Originally broadcast: 30 March 1970
Written by: Talbot Rothwell

Ludicrus Sextus must choose Miss Vestal Virgin of BC72, Noxious plots to rig the contest because of the Senator's stance on bawdy houses, and Lurcio is told to find someone more suitable.

"But it's no secret that she was known all around as Madeira because she was a piece of cake."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

THE IDES OF MARCH

Originally broadcast: 6 April 1970
Written by: Talbot Rothwell

Talks of assassinating Caesar see Lurcio chosen as the one, Ammonia overhears the plans and rushes to warn the Emperor, and a striking resemblance gives Ponderous an idea.

"By the way, it's me again. I'm playing two parts, now, you see? What? Laurence Oliver? Are you kidding? I should get an Oscar for this."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

THE SENATOR AND THE ASP

Originally broadcast: 13 April 1970
Written by: Talbot Rothwell

Ammonia orders Lurcio to get rid of Senator Lecherous, Nausius wants to help a girl he picks up in the street, and Ludicrus Sextus receives news of a visitor from Rome.

"'Get rid of him.' Ooh. These women will stop at nothing. She's ruthless. Ruthless. Entirely without ruth. Yes. Especially with an asp, in her grasp, to clasp."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

BRITANNICUS

Originally broadcast: 20 April 1970
Written by: Talbot Rothwell

All able-bodied men are called up for war in Britannicus, Lurcio has to act quickly when a familiar face turns up with a group of camp-followers, and two defeated Britons arrive with a gift.

"Well, you see, before he was called up, the armourer was a rabbi."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

THE ACTORS

Originally broadcast: 27 April 1970
Written by: Talbot Rothwell

A travelling theatre company causes much excitement in the Senator's household, the behaviour of the leading actor creates an opening, and Lurcio has trouble choosing the right mask.

"Stop it! Stop it! Take your hands off my Hernia."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

SPARTACUS

Originally broadcast: 4 May 1970
Written by: Talbot Rothwell

There's talk of an uprising amongst the slaves, Lurcio's thrown into the dungeon after being caught holding incriminating pamphlets, and repeated rescue attempts make things a little cramped.

"Listen, who made your suit? I should take that back. There's a sleeve missing."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

THE LOVE POTION

Originally broadcast: 11 May 1970
Written by: Talbot Rothwell

Lurcio can't help feeling that the household are trying to get rid of him, news of a pretty visitor leads to ideas of trickery, and a bit of something in the wine results in a lot of something in the air.

"I'm not worthy to kiss the globe of her rear. No, I mean, no... Oh wait a minute! Wait a minute. I've got that muddled. I'm not... I'll say that again. I'm not worthy to kiss the lobe of her ear. That's it."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

SERIES TWO

(1970)
6 episodes
Series Score: 48
Episode Average: 8.0
Perfect 10's: 0

S2E1

THE LEGACY

Originally broadcast: 14 September 1970
Written by: Sid Colin, Talbot Rothwell

An uncle's will dictates that Ludicrus Sextus must have a child named after him, doubts about being up to the job send Lurcio to the local sorceress, and Erotica has something to hide from her parents.

"Bucket and broom. Well, that's why they called him Filthy Luca. You see, he made a pile."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

ROMAN HOLIDAY

Originally broadcast: 21 September 1970
Written by: Sid Colin, Talbot Rothwell

Lurcio is left alone when the family go away for the weekend, two slaves girls on the run beg for help, and Ludicrus Sextus demands that the girls be turned over to the trader.

"Scum to this. There's a woman there didn't get it. But dont... Missus! What's she been drinking, chloroform? Now, come, girl."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

JAMUS BONDUS

Originally broadcast: 28 September 1970
Written by: Sid Colin, Talbot Rothwell

Ludicrus Sextus explains that plans for a new weapon have been stolen, an agent is killed before he can utter the name of the traitor, and Lurcio persuades Ammonia to make the most of her womanly wiles.

"Well, you can't die here! This is the living room."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

THE PEACE TREATY

Originally broadcast: 12 October 1970
Written by: Sid Colin, Talbot Rothwell

Nausius wants to start a peace movement to avoid conscription, Lurcio's called up to the East Naples Suicide Army, and a mysterious figure persuades the women to say no to cohabitation.

"Look, Captain, if you'll be a good boy, I'll give you the other one to play with. There you are. That's the set. Make a booby trap."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

NYMPHIA

Originally broadcast: 19 October 1970
Written by: Sid Colin, Talbot Rothwell

Nausius announces that he is to be married, Lurcio is asked to educate about the facts of life, and Ludicrus Sextus must come up with a way to get rid of the unsuitable commoner.

"Well, I'm sorry. It's the only way to treat a harem. Scare 'em. Harem, scare 'em!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

EXODUS

Originally broadcast: 26 October 1970
Written by: Sid Colin, Talbot Rothwell

Ludicrus Sextus is selling up and moving the family to Rome, nobody wants to tell an old friend that he won't be making the move, and Lurcio finds himself out on approval with Aphrodite.

"Oh, my masters' voice. Woof! Woof! Woof!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

FILM

(1971)

FILM

UP POMPEII

Originally released: 9 March 1971
Directed by: Bob Kellett
Written by: Sid Colin, Talbot Rothwell

Ludicrus Sextus prepares to make an anti-vice speech to the Senate, Lurcio mistakenly picks up a scroll with details of an assassination plot, and Nero finds a new favourite in a wrestling match.

"This leopard skin doesn't fit me. I don't think it even fitted the leopard."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

SPECIAL

(1975)

SPECIAL

FURTHER UP POMPEII!

Originally broadcast: 31 March 1975
Directed by: David Croft
Written by: Talbot Rothwell

Lurcio has trouble keeping people out of the house when Ammonia plays host to an orgy, Nausius needs a little help persuading a girl to fall in love with him, and Ludicrus Sextus is having trouble sleeping.

"All right, yes. Come on. everybody out! Time, gentlemen, please. Come along. Let's have your last orgies, please."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SPECIAL

(1991)

SPECIAL

FURTHER UP POMPEII

Originally broadcast: 14 December 1991
Directed by: Ian Hamilton
Written by: Brian Leveson, Paul Minett

Lurcio is being blackmailed to work in a wine bar, money has to be raised when the boss takes money belonging to a friend, and a replacement's needed when poison is given to the wrong gladiator.

"Thank you for your vote of confidence. Well, I'd rather die at the end of his sword than your toad-in-the-hole."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

LURCIO

Played by Frankie Howerd
14 episodes (1969-1970),
Up Pompeii (1971),
& Further Up Pompeii! (1975, 1991)

SENATOR LUDICRUS SEXTUS

Played by Max Adrian
8 episodes (1969-1970)

Played by Wallas Eaton
6 episodes (1970)

Played by Michael Hordern
Up Pompeii (1971)

Played by Mark Dignam
Further Up Pompeii! (1975)

AMMONIA

Played by Elizabeth Larner
14 episodes
(1969-1970)
& Further Up Pompeii! (1975)

Played by Barbara Murray
Up Pompeii (1971)

NAUSIUS

Played by Kerry Gardner
14 episodes
(1969-1970)
& Further Up Pompeii! (1975)

Played by Royce Mills
Up Pompeii (1971)

The Ladies of Nausius

CILLA

Played by Julia Goodman

SOPPIA

Played by Wendy Richard

DAILI

Played by Valerie Leon

HERNIA

Played by Audrey Nicholson

LUSCIA

Played by Trisha Noble

AMBROSIA

Played by Lynda Baron

FILTHIA

Played by Anita Richardson

LETITIA

Played by Grazina Frame

PUSSUS GALORIA

Played by Patricia Haines

TITICARTA

Played by Frankie Howerd

FLAVIA

Played by Laraine Humphrys

SCRUBBA

Played by Lindsay Duncan

EROTICA

Played by Georgina Moon
7 episodes
(1969-1970)

Played by Madeline Smith
Up Pompeii (1971)

Played by Jennifer Lonsdale
Further Up Pompeii! (1975)

SENNA THE SOOTHSAYER

Played by Jeanne Mockford
13 Episodes
(1970)
& Further Up Pompeii! (1975)

CASSANDRA

Played by Ruth Harrison
Pilot (1969)

Played by Rita Webb
Up Pompeii (1971)

PLAUTUS

Played by Walter Horsbrugh
1 episode (1969)

Played by William Rushton
7 episodes (1970)